The Elixir of Recovery

The Elixir of Recovery

“We knew how to love in crisis, in a state of constant mental chatter, grabbing onto old fears to stay mentally busy, which somehow made us feel safe. Weirdly, when we were worried, we felt in control.” – Adapted from Courage to Change

My DisEase is cunning, baffling and powerful. It loves to be in control. The idea of letting go and letting God, surrendering, and admitting I’m powerless over anything, (including others and my relationships with them) is something my DisEase absolutely abhors. Why? Because doing so literally KILLS my dis-ease.

Instead, it wants it’s daily dose of fertilizer. The ingredients of my DisEase’s Miracle Grow are neediness, control, fear, resentment, it’s-not-fairism, self-righteousness, lying, manipulation, condescension, justification, blame, arguing, defensiveness, fighting, self-pity, loneliness, isolation, laziness, procrastination, focusing on the problem, frustration, unsolicited advice giving, hopelessness, purposelessness, exhaustion, eating poorly, going outside my hula hoop, closed-mindedness, body shaming myself, not making recovery my priority, and giving with secret expectation for a return.

That’s a long list right? The truth is that I could probably add 100 more ingredients to that concoction. But here’s the good news: For every ingredient in my DisEase’s Miracle Grow, there an antidote.

So here’s my challenge to you today. Take a moment to write, or type, out a list of the exact opposite of each of the ingredients on the list above. Now print it out and tape it onto your fridge.

This is the secret to happiness. The more often that I practice working with the ingredients necessary to create the elixir of recovery, the more ILML!

— JamieQ

PS if you’re so inclined, share your list with me!


That means that everything we want out of the relationship we get, simply by loving them madly.

Pretty cool concept. Not easy, but very cool.

The Pain of Deceit

“Although I cannot do anything about the waves rolling into my life, I can hand the tiller of my life over to God and trust that I will be steered to safety.” Hope For Today

Recently I had a loved one lie to me. I had asked them to respect my boundaries and they didn’t. Then they lied about it tony face. Several times. It hurt deeply. I felt betrayed and confused. This is pure Alanon. I never set a consequence for crossing my boundary or lying. So now I’m going through the emotional hangover. I can’t stop the lying or deceit, but I called my sponsor, set clear boundaries with consequences (I will enforce), and am surrendering the past hurt, the future fear, and the uncomfortable feelings. But they keep coming up. And I keep surrendering them. This is my process. I know this will pass and am grateful for the program and opportunity to grow. And yes, even with these struggles, ILML! – James