“I will probably make a mistake of some sort every day of my life. If I view this as a personal failing or pretend that no mistakes have occurred, I make my life unmanageable. When I stop struggling to be perfect and admit when I am wrong, I can let go of guilt and shame.” – Courage to Change 

Fear of being wrong is the root of my righteousness, a very unattractive trait. These days, when it comes to making mistakes, I’d rather know so I can grow. But I love myself enough to discontinue relationships with those that are aggressive or abusive towards me when I’m less than perfect. Likewise I’m gentle with myself and others when mistakes are made. The truth is, we’re all perfectly imperfect. Accepting or giving out shame and guilt are no longer options for me in recovery. The more I surrender the need to be right, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ 

“Would you rather be right or happy?” – Anonymous

Why can’t I be right and happy? If I understand and know something to be true, isn’t that okay? Yes! Doing the next right thing makes me happy. Guessing how to fix something or solve a problem to discover I’m right is awesome. Where I get into trouble is when being right makes someone else wrong. When I’m right, they’re wrong and they feel like a loser – and making them feel like that is mean. I must stop trying to help, educate or defend myself by being right. I’m much happier when I just allow them to be right. If they’re not, they’ll figure it out without my help. By resigning from the debating society, ILML! 
– JamieQ

“Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible… Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear… Love is the strongest force in the world.” – Cornelia “Corrie” ten Boom (1892-1983)

The woman who wrote those words was a Dutch watchmaker who helped many Jews escape the Nazi Holocaust and was imprisoned for her actions. Think about what she must have faced in her life. Released from a concentration camp days after her sister died there, she then, through her writings and appearances, became an inspiration to millions of people in overcoming their struggles. Sort of reminds us of what we do in the program right? We surrender, join the winning team, work the steps, go from misery to rapture, carry the message to others, then watch THEM go from misery to rapture, and the cycle ripples out into the world. I have been given a gift. When I share it with others, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The rules of the game of life are quite simple. Always tell the truth. Never live in fear of anything or anyone. Be conscious of what you are thinking so you can always think positively… following these rules, have no doubt – you cannot lose!” – Until Today

My definition of being a winner is someone who lives life with integrity. Who centers their intentions on being of service, staying healthy, and loving themselves as well as others to the fullest extent possible. Who is trustworthy because they mean what they say, say what they mean but don’t say it meanly. Who awakens each day with the awareness of how truly blessed they are to be alive another day. Today I am a winner and ILML! 

– JamesQ

“For straying from the right way there’s no cure except to keep so close to the thought of God that nothing, no other interest, can seriously come between you and God.”– 24 Hours a Day 8/10

This program is what allows the “thought of God” into my thinking. My natural state is driven by self-will, no spiritual connection, a lot of anxiety, worry, and discontentment. So what I have learned from taking direction from people in meetings or from a sponsor on a daily basis, is when I get restless, irritable, and discontent, which is very often, I can get in the solution. Meetings, spiritual readings, doing daily spiritual rituals, praying/meditating, all of these guide me back to righteous thinking, out of self will, and give me “God thoughts”. I’m grateful for these tools and this program. ILML!

-JasonW

“The moment you start to resent a person you become that person’s slave. They control your dreams, rob you of peace, hound you, invade your sleep, sap your energy, and stay with you everywhere you go.” – Adapted from 12 Step Prayer Book 

Wow! That sounds horrible. The question is: why would anyone ever have a resentment? Or better yet, how can I be sure to never have one again? The solution I’ve found is be aware of the moment when someone upsets me and make an immediate decision that I’m unwilling to be their victim and slave. Resentment is 100% unacceptable today. Then I quickly shift my focus to something that makes me smile and feel good. I don’t ignore the problem, I just detach from it, then, once again, ILML! 

JamieQ

“Love is a balm that heals… lightens our burdens… invites inner joy… connects us, one with another. This recovery program has offered us a plan for loving others, as well as ourselves. ” – Each Day a New Beginning
Whenever we feel uncomfortable the quickest way to feel better is to tap into love. Think of things you love. Think of people you love. Think of ways to be loving to yourself and then take the actions to make it happen. Think of ways to express love to people you love, then do it. Eat something tasty and healthy. Practice a hobby. Do something relaxing. Send a sweet text of appreciation to a friend or family member. By taking a loving action, we will feel love flow in and the icky feelings evaporate. I love inviting love in, because the moment I do it, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“If we blame others… we continue to live as victims.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

I grew up in a family with lots of children. The kid that cried the loudest, got the most attention. Oftentimes, that was me. I knew how to game the system. Being the victim may have served my desire for attention as a child, but as an adult, it’s no fun. Victims are unhappy, hurt and angry – quite the opposite of how I prefer to feel. So why does blaming make us a victim? Because it renders us powerless. If it’s their fault, I can’t do anything about it. Instead, I’ve learned to empower myself by shifting my focus off of what they did, or what happened that’s out of my control, step away from the problem, and focus on the solution – gratitide. I’m done playing the victim game. It’s much more fun when ILML! 

– JamieQ