“F.E.A.R. can stand for ‘Forgetting Everything’s All Right’.” – Heard from Noel at an AA meeting in Pacific Palisades
I had the opportunity to share at a meeting last night about the idea of faith versus God. I mentioned that for some of us the word “God” is a little bit too much to handle at the beginning of our recovery, so I generally encourage people instead to consider just having faith. When I explain what faith is to me, I say that it’s saying, hearing and believing the words “Everything’s gonna be OK.” On the other hand, when I’m in fear, I’m saying, hearing and believing “No it’s not.” It’s only when I actively choose to listen only to the words of faith, rather than fear, that ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The small child within each of us is profoundly in need of unconditional love.” – In God’s Care  

When I think of myself as a small child, maybe 3 or 4 years old, 8 or 9, 12 or 13, and I think about how much I yearned to be loved, accepted and cared for, I realize that at 55 years old, I still want and deserve the same thing. I have given that kind of love to all 4 of my kids, and still do. I love them beyond words, and would do anything for them to make them happy and feel loved. So why not add a 5th kid into my life, and do anything to make me happy and feel loved. That’s exactly what I’ve done by doing The Daily Deal everyday. I give a gift to myself that makes me feel loved, safe and grateful. The hour or two I devote to reading, journaling, praying, affirmations, meditating, sharing fellowship, stretching, exercise, eating healthily, and sending out a gratitude list & recovery text feed me with the love I’ve always craved for, and honestly, I believe that’s why ILML so much!

– JamieQ

“The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want.” ― Iyanla Vanzant 

Sometimes it’s easy to let go, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes we hold on to things we think will help us, but they only hold us back. Sometimes we hold onto things we love so tightly, we crush them. Sometimes we are so worried about losing something that we fail to see there’s something much better trying to get our attention. And sometimes we’re just plain stubborn and selfish, we won’t let go. But Iyanla is right. In order to get a life beyond our wildest dreams we have to being to let go of the one that isn’t. People, places and things that no longer align themselves with our values or the kind of life we want to live. So just for today be brave. Let go of one thing you’ve been hanging onto that you know isn’t good for you. It could be  a relationship that is overdue to end, or some article of clothing taking up unnecessary space, or maybe even a resentment that you’re finally just too tired to have anymore. When I let go of that which no longer brings me joy, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Fear knocked on the door, no one was home.” – Author Unknown
Fear has many disguises. Anger, jealousy, procrastination, laziness, self-pity, arrogance, depression, dishonesty, self-centeredness and envy are all born of one fear or another. The Big Book and 12 & 12 say that we were the victims of unreasonable fears. That these fears are the termites that ceaselessly devour the foundations of whatever sort of life we try to build. That our fears make a serene and useful existence quite impossible. And that these same fears are the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to true progress. They then suggest that we review our fears thoroughly on paper, face them head on with the help of others who have come before us, and walk right through them to the other side, where our fears fall from us. Provided we study and continue to practice the principles of our program in all our affairs, when fear knocks on my door, I just don’t bother answering. That way… ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Many of the amends I need to make center around letting go of the past. It’s time to give myself and others a second chance… This means I need to alter my attitudes and my actions.” – Hope for Today 

There are so many wonderful experiences I’ve had in the past, ones that, when reflected upon, bring a smile to my face. But anything in my past that brings up a feeling of resentment or self-pity is detrimental to both my physical and emotional well being. The $20,000 question is: How can I stop thinking about painful things in my past? Well here is the answer: Flood you mind, thoughts, words and actions with love and gratitude. Read, listen to, write, share and hang out with others that live in a place of love and gratitude. Start first thing in the morning. Don’t go to bed without infusing yourself with it again. The secret is that when I take actions that keep me focused on love and gratitude, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“When I hold onto resentments and blame, I occupy my spirit with bitterness.” – Courage to Change, page 75

The entire reading from this page (attached) is one of the truly great readings from this book, on a subject that I can never get enough of: forgiveness. It talks about one of the main (and faulty) reasons why I have always forgiven others, while explaining that foreguveness really is just a way to remind me that I’m equal to (no better than, no worse than) everyone else. My job is not to judge others, or to be their victim, but rather to think and act in a way that reflects the best me I can be. Because when I do that, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… we sometimes don’t understand what’s going on in our life… we are right where we need to be, even though that place may feel awkward and uncomfortable… The answer will come….” – The Language of Letting Go

I’ve told this story many times, but I’ll tell it again. At an AlAnon meeting a very old woman spoke of some very hard difficulties in her life. She then said “But those terrible things turned out to be the best things that every happened to me – I just didn’t know it at the time.” She went on to tell how those difficult times signaled a life transition that paved the way for some amazing things to happen in her life. Now that I’m 55, and deeply committed to recovery, I can testify to the same thing. It’s darkest before the light. Though sometimes it may seem tough, bad and painful, have hope. This too shall pass, really it will. When I stay the course and have faith that everything (eventually) will turn out great, even if I can’t possibly see how, I’m able to step away from fear and reconnect with faith, and once again, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Things such as money, acclaim, prestige, power, fame, popularity, recognition, respect, good looks, stylishness, knowledge, and pride can become our idols if we put any of them before love.” – Adapted from In God’s Care

One of the greatest gifts that 12 step fellowship has given me is the opportunity to love others and be loved by them. I spend many hours each day trying to make money, gain the respect and admiration of others, dress nicely, stay fit, do the best I can for my clients, and increase my knowledge. In my opinion, those are all good, healthy and fruitful pursuits. However, readings like this remind me to always put my program, love and connecting with my source of gratitude first, above all else in life. When I do that, abundance in all other areas flow into me and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Any good thing… that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any fellow traveler, let me do it now.” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

This reminds me of something I hear at the end of my Wednesday night 7pm Al-Anon meeting in Maui: “When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen always be there, and let it begin with me.” The idea is that, by looking for opportunities to be of service, to help someone out who could use a hand, I can bring happiness and love into both of our lives. And so, rather than just thinking this is a good idea,  I actively attempt to practice this each day. And I’ve found that the more I look for, and act on those opportunities, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ