“Do you think that God would say, “You have made the world much better.” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

I spent the majority of my life not knowing what my purpose was. Initially I thought it was to graduate college, make money, have a nice home, nice car, nice things, get married, and have some kids. Don’t get me wrong, these things are nice, but none of them gave me a feeling that I’ve found my true purpose. Even getting sober and helping others in AA and AlAnon didn’t do it. It wasn’t until I started diligently working an intensive program of recovery and began really loving myself that I began to understand the true nature of my purpose. By taking consistent action to love myself, others and the world around me, and encouraging others to experience it for themselves, I finally found my purpose. I believe that the action of both working and sharing a program of action to love life, makes the world a little better, one person at a time. The older I get, the more I know that my purpose is to continue spreading the life loving message as much as possible. And a wonderful byproduct of all this worthwhile effort is that ILML! 

– JamieQ

“We can decide to let God participate in our life.” – In God’s Care 

When I first came into the 12 step rooms, I didn’t really believe in God, certainly not in a religious one. So in step 3, when it says “…turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him”, I had no idea how to do that. For years I struggled accepting the idea that there was a “God”. I wanted to believe, but the intellectual side of me knew better. How can one who wants to have a higher power believe in God if they are sure there isn’t one? Years later I finally figured it out: I just pretend. Some call this faking it until you make it. So I wrote down a list of what I would like my higher power to be like, if it were real. Then I committed to talking to this “pretend” God in the morning and at night. I chose to fully believe in, and turn my life and will over to, my pretend God. Sound silly? Well it felt silly. But today, my imaginary friend, my pretend God, is a giant part of my life, and honestly, I could care less if people judge me for having a God of my understanding, because it works for me. I am grateful that my loving God, which today is very real to me, has my back and reminds me that my purpose is to stay sober and be of maximum useful service to others. I talk to God all the time now, because when I’m plugged into source, and my will is aligned with God’s, ILML!

– JamieQ

“…we are a problem people who have found a way up and out, and wish to share our knowledge of that way with all who can use it.” – 12&12 p.125

It’s been said that problems are really opportunities that are yet to be revealed. When I’m in my disease, I live in the problem, rehashing it over, and over, and over again. I have zero serenity. But when I’m spiritual fit and emotionally healthy, I’m able to shift my perception and behavior into gratitude and abundance, where solutions come easily. And even if when solution is elusive, I’m able to simply let go and let God handle the situation. So when I’m tired of the problem and ready to be happy all I have to do is put my problem in it’s true perspective, work my program, and trust God. The moment I stop hoping the problem will magically go away and instead start actually doing the work, The Dis-Ease vanishes and poof… ILML! 

– JamieQ

“In a study done at the University of California–Davis, subjects got more benefits from writing in a daily gratitude journal than those who wrote only weekly.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love 
Consistency in healthy habits that nourish my emotional health are the only way I can consistently love my life. And for me, loving life is what it’s all about. Just like most people, there are moments where I’m not shouting out “I Love my Life!” or feeling very happy at all. But I remember when I never, and then rarely, and then just sometimes loved my life. These days, as a direct result of consistently journaling, writing gratitude lists, going to meetings, fellowshipping with others, praying, meditating, doing yoga, exercising, eating healthy, studying inspirational books, working my steps, being self-supporting, keeping my commitments, aspiring to be a great man, and sending out recovery messages like this, a day has not gone by in many, many years where I don’t both feel and shout out… I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

JamieQ

“All of us need to change for the better. We are the gardeners, the ones who help the flowers grow. Goodwill is not enough; we need to learn the art of making others happy.” – FEAR by Thich Nhat Hanh

If someone were to ask me, “Of all the things I do, what investment of time brings me the most and longest-lasting happiness?”, the answer would surely be bringing happiness to others. I’m not saying it’s better for me to help others than to help myself. I mean that when I can help another person to find happiness and fulfillment in their life, whether it’s a family member, friend, client, stranger or someone in the program, the act of helping them find it brings it to me as well. By working, studying, and applying to tools and secrets of the program in my life, I’m able to pass them (and my experience in using them) on to others. Occasionally this helps them invite more abundance into their lives. These are true win-win experiences, and each time they happen… ILML! 

“Let me remember that the reason for making amends is to free my own mind of an uneasiness.” – Hope for Today

This reminds me that amends is, first and foremost, a selfish act designed to free me of the burdens of guilt, remorse and resentment. The success of my amends is not predicated upon the reaction or acceptance of the one I make amends to. Rather, all I need to do in order for my amends to be successful is to make the amends. The toughest amends for me are to those I resent. Usually I’m secretly hoping they will make amends after I make mine, a set-up for me to be even more resentful. And regarding timing, I’ve learned to make amends as soon as possible, and do it for that transgression only once (regardless of their reaction) rather than again and again, hoping they will forgive me or say they are sorry to me. When I make amends as prescribed in our program, I free myself from self-pity and resentment, and ILML! 

-JamieQ

“Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible… as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking… Luck then deserts… he is slightly injured… You would expect him… to cut it out… through the years this conduct continues… a fractured skull… (then) breaks his arm… (then) both legs… (then) his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn’t he? AA, p.37-38

Why is it that we humans have a tendency to repeatedly engage in behaviors that we know, from past experience, hurt us? We make excuses like “I was only going to have one drink”, “I was only going to eat a couple of chips”, or “I felt bad for them and I wanted to help them out… again.” Whether it’s drinking, using drugs, unhealthy eating, unhealthy relationships, or engaging in any other behaviors that hurt us, it’s time to stop it. Like the anti-drug commercials said, we need to “Just Say No! The same goes for our inconsistency in practicing healthy behaviors. With regard to exercising, meditation, reading inspirational books, connecting with source, eating well, being self-supporting and making a concerted effort to be a great person, it’s time to “Just Say Yes!” Yes I know it’s hard, but you can do it. Utilize the support from others who model a healthy lifestyle. It’s only when I stop engaging in destructive behaviors and rigorously practice the healthy ones, that ILML! 

– JamieQ

“My Higher Power is the confidence within me that makes me unafraid.” – As We Understood p.105

This quote was found at the bottom of Hope for Today, which also spoke of how the more afraid (uncomfortable, angry, etc) we are, the more we tend to try to control our environment and others around us in an attempt to get more comfortable. And of course, the more I try to control others, the more they rebel against trying to be controlled. The end result is prolonged suffering, for me and those around me. The answer is to get out of fear, into faith, and stop attempting to manage, direct and control others. One way I can do this is by taking deep breaths, imagining that I’m breathing in love, and breathing out fear. When I get out of the problem, and start living in the solution, ILML!

– JamieQ

“Fear… can only produce suffering… you just need to practice… love.” – The Mastery of Love

As with so many other suggestions, this one sounds pretty straightforward and logical, however, executing it in times of duress is not so effortless. Simple but not easy, as they say. The one thing that will always keep me in fear is being unconscious of it. Awareness is the only way for me to recover my happiness. Upon awareness that I’m in Dis-Ease, I then invite faith (aka love) in by simply saying:

“Ok, it’s time to let it go again. Everything will be great. You’re gonna be just fine, whatever happens. This will all work out. It’s exactly as it’s supposed to be. God’s got your back. Now it’s time to trust the process.” 

When I practice awareness of my dis-ease, and take contrary action to get back into a place of peace… ILML! 

– JamieQ