“I asked for all things that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things.” – The 12 Step Prayer Book
This particular page talks about how events and situations which are gifts are often misinterpreted as “bad things”. But the more we practice living in gratitude, focusing on becoming better individuals, letting go of expectation and blame, the more we see EVERYTHING as a gift. We become spiritual savants, able to see what’s good in everything and everyone. And though our demands for property, prestige and affection decrease, we find ourselves surrounded by abundance and love. And when I’m doing the daily deal and living in the solution, I’m in the most wonderful place I can be, and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Change can only begin when we become aware of the need to change.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom

I used to be a really angry guy. I had a million justifiable reasons too. Life was never fair, and I didn’t want to accept it laying down. I thought “if you had to go through what I did you’d be angry too”. Anger never fixed situations, made others change, or got me what I wanted. What it did was make me emotionally and physically sick. It closed off opportunities for abundance and healthy relationships. That awareness helped me change. Now, when anger comes up I choose to let go, plug into my higher power and focus on gratitude. When I stop letting my anger control me, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“When our ego forgets about God and tries to fix problems we can’t – or aren’t supposed to – solve, it’s time to pause and remind ourselves who is really in charge.” – Adapted from In God’s Care

I like overcoming challenges, fixing things that are broken and problem solving – it gives me satisfaction and a sense that everything is right again. But sometimes I try to fix problems that aren’t mine when others didn’t ask for my help. And other times, when I can’t solve my own problems, I stew in misery because I won’t ask for help or let go and surrender it to my higher power. By the simple act of doing the daily deal, I end up minding my own business, offering help and advice when asked, and letting go of people, places and things that are out of my control, I feel better and ILML!  

– JamieQ

“discounting our emotions won’t make feelings go away… don’t shut down our emotions… If we’re angry… accept and deal with it…” – The Language of Letting Go 

The gift of being a human is that we have the opportunity to experience and feel all the emotions. When angry, my goal is to recognize it, understand where it’s coming from, and use my program tools to move through it. Here’s a great anger affirmation I use:

I acknowledge my anger, a God-given emotion, and choose –as my response –  to practice acceptance, love, detachment and honesty, so that this anger need not turn into a festering resentment, but rather simply slip away, so that, once again, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress…” – AA p.100

What does it really mean to walk along a path called “Spiritual Progress”? Just wanting it or thinking about it doesn’t cut it for me. In order to progress spiritually, I have to take actual, specific actions aimed at becoming a better person each day. I read from inspirational books. I do my affirmations (prayer). I meditate. I do yoga. I express and share my gratitude. I am of service to others for fun and for free. I engage in hobbies. I exercise. I reflect upon my life by writing in my journal. I am loving to others and myself. When I make the time to take actions which help me become a better, more loving, kinder, gentler, happier person each and every day, ILML!  

– JamieQ

“Victimhood gets its power from resentments…” – You Can’t Make Me Angry
I’m only a victim when I’m angry, and choose to hang onto it. Did you hear the last part of that sentence? Choose to hang onto it? That’s what differentiates anger from resentment, whether I hang onto it or not. I met a friend this morning that’s been hanging onto his frustrations, disappointments and anger towards his wife. Of course, I’m sure there are things she does and says that are upsetting. And there are various ways to deal with those: journaling, doing a 10th step, finding our part, making amends, forgiving and setting healthy boundaries. But when we don’t get into the solution and instead hang onto the hurt, it becomes resentment, we start living the role of victim, messing up our side of the street. That’s not fun. Being a victim is uncomfortable. When I refuse to play the victim, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Many of us have been… depressed, or angry for so long, and these feelings have become so familiar, that we’ve gotten stuck.” – In God’s Care
This reading hits the mark for me. I used to spend most of my time disappointed in my life, others or myself. Angry and frustrated, I was a chronic blamer. The idea of “Being as happy as we make our minds up to be” seemed absurd. I would think “That’s easy for them to say, they aren’t me and don’t have to deal with what I have to deal with.” The truth is, there are people in way worse situations than I’ve been in who “insist on being happy”. I’ve discovered that if I really want what they have, I must be willing to work for it. That’s why I spend about 2-3 hours each day focusing on gratitide, inviting abundance, filling up my mind with inspiration, putting pen to paper, surrendering to love, practicing acceptance and then sharing it all with others. The result I get — peace of mind and happiness — is well worth the investment of time, because every day, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“We often equate the need to be acknowledged or acceptanced by others with being loved. What’s really beneath this is a cry for self-love.” – Adapted from Iyanla Vanzant

Many of my recovery texts site the fact that I read from inspirational books each day as part of my rituals. One of the great benefits of doing this is that I’m constantly learning how to interpret my feelings in a way that makes me happy. The quote above reminds me that when I’m feeling unloved, unacknowledged, or unaccepted by others, what’s really going on is that I haven’t been loving myself enough. When I practice rigorous self-care – physically, emotionally and spiritually – I am in a state of love and serenity that cannot be taken from me by the actions or inactions of others. I’m in a place of peace that allows me to see what’s they are doing as something which reflects upon them, not me. I am no longer dependent upon them to give me what I have already given to myself. When I take the time to fully practice self-care and love myself each day, ILML!

– JamieQ 

“Obsessing can be a deadly habit. If we’re thinking too much, we can’t enjoy what’s going on around us… Self-absorption is the enemy of serenity. Peace of mind comes from trusting God.” – In God’s Care

A good friend of mine was obsessing to the extent that he was unable to fall asleep last night. I know that feeling well. When there is no solution in my power evident to the problem, I’m left with two choices: Stay in the problem or turn it over to God. The first is painful but the second is often not so easy. Luckily I have a giant toolkit bursting at the seam with solutions to help me turn it over. I can reach out to others. Pray. Meditate. Exercise. Help newcomers. Read inspirational books. Share what I find with others. Write a gratitude list. Journal out my thoughts and read them to my sponsor. Go to a meeting. Those are just a few. However I get there, the moment I’m able to turn an unsolvable problem over to my higher power, is the moment that, once again, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“keep the focus on myself… live this program… walking the walk, demonstrating recovery in my life.” – Courage to Change 

Unfortunately it doesn’t take much for me to go from staying in gratitude, taking care of myself, to feeling uncomfortable and focusing on what others should (or shouldn’t) be doing. You would think, at 55 years old, I would have learned better by now. But I’ve discovered that there will always be a part of me, I call it my “Dis-Ease”, that encourages me to engage in thinking and actions which take me out of my comfort zone, where I’m no longer at ease. Emotional hangovers are the direct result of thinking or acting out at the suggestion of my DisEase. My best defense against falling into the trap of focusing on others is reading inspirational literature, sharing gratitude with others, journaling out my thoughts, and connecting with source. The more consistently I do this, the more ILML!

– JamieQ