“Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.” – AA p.62

“It’s amazing how often I’ve stepped on the toes of my fellows, and then declared loudly “But they stepped on my toes first!” On page 61 of the Big Book it says “Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.” That sounds like most of us. We may have done something small wrong, but — boy oh boy — let me they’ll you what THEY did! Here’s the bottom line. Blaming=Hopelessness. When I blame, they are wrong, I can’t control them, ergo I’m a victim and am justified in feeling hurt. Epic. Just how I want to feel… NOT! When I man up, find my “tiny” part, resolve to do better, and apologize (the hard part), I take back my power, am immediately realeased from the prison of victimhood, hope and happiness flood in and, of course, once again… ILML! 

— JamieQ

“As you grow in the spiritual life, you will be enabled to do many things that seemed too hard for you before.” — 24 Hours a Day

Believing, trusting and having a relationship with God ALWAYS makes life better. Is it really possible that believing in something like Santa Clause can give you happiness, peace and abundance? Absolutely! Didn’t the idea of Santa make you happy when you were young? When I finally hit my emotional bottom in recovery I suspended my disbelief and dipped my toe into the God concept. The water wasn’t freezing. It felt nice. I put my foot in, then my leg, and finally I jumped in. It felt warm and luxurious. When I hang out with my higher power my struggles subside — happiness, peace and abundance flow in. The reality for me is that whenever God is by my side, ILML! 

— JamieQ

“One of my primary responsibilities is to take care of myself. I will find a small way to do something for my mind, body, and spirit today.” – Courage to Change 

I loved that the reading suggested doing things like taking a bubble bath, a bike ride or a nap. Too often I’m overwhelmed with my sense of responsibility and choose helping others over helping myself. Thank God I insist on taking the time each day for doing my rituals. These clear my mind of worry and stress. They remind me how blessed I am. I get brainwashed – bad thoughts out – good thoughts in. And when I’m finished, as always, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Many of us need continual reminders that detailed attention to the present moment is the only way to prepare for future opportunities and dreams.” —  In God’s Care

Regreting the past and  worrying about the future used to be a daily pastime of mine. Thankfully, because I work the program so rigorously, these are just fleeting thoughts that no longer dominate my mind. I may not be able to control my future, but I definitely play a part in whether my dreams become reality or not. By centering myself spiritually, my decisions are better. They’re  guided from a place of love, not fear. By waking up early and doing those things I may not be excited to do — cleaning house, paying bills, exercising,  calling clients, etc — I reap the rewards of success. My house is clean. The lights are on. My body is strong. I’m self supporting. Today I’ll step up and do those things I’m tempted to procrastinate on and watch my dreams manifest as ILML! 

– JamieQ

“If you try to keep an open mind you will find help.” – AlAnon Closing

Why is an open mind so important when it comes to solving problems that seem impossible to resolve, uncomfortable feelings that we can’t seem to get out of, or a sense of hopelessness that simply won’t go away? Because the help we need often comes from a spiritual source. And having a relationship with a God requires a very, very open mind, particularly if you are so smart that you know, for sure, that there is no God. Like I did. So how is it that God’s my friend now? Because I hurt enough that I chose believe and trust in a loving higher power – whether real or not. As a result, I now handle situations with an ease and grace I couldn’t do alone. I smile and laugh more often. I’m a nicer husband, father and son. I work more efficiently. I choose healthy relationships. I set boundaries and step out when necessary. I’m proud of myself. And most importantly, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… I was suddenly flooded with such a feeling of appreciation that it brought tears to my eyes.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love 

About 25 years ago I started to notice that my father, Don, was starting to cry a lot when he talked about things that were emotional. Then I started noticed the waterworks happening even when we weren’t talking about happy or sad things. He would look at me and get tears in his eyes. He would say “I’m just grateful son, that’s all”. Now I’m in my 50s and the tears are flowing more often – these tears of gratitude. Life is beyond any gift I could ever imagine, and the more I celebrate my personal passion for living, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ

“If I allow myself to feel deprived, sooner or later I will… react with negative emotions.” – Food for Thought

Deprivation is described as the damaging lack of material benefits considered to be basic necessities. This means air, food, water, shelter, medical care, and, of course, love. I have always had access to everything on that list – I am blessed. But in the past I did not always take good care of myself. Being scared of the dentist I avoided him. Being busy I waited too long to see a doctor. And I thought it was dumb to look in the mirror and say “I love you” so I didn’t do it. But doing the daily deal has changed it all for me. Today I don’t deprive myself of all the abundance around me. When I say “yes” to every challenge, do the footwork and step up to enjoy the rewards I receive, ILML! 
— JamieQ

“… identify the different aspects of my character that were preventing me from having healthy, loving boundaries with myself and others.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

Doing a thorough periodic inventory helps me uncover, discover and discard those things that keep me from playing well with others. Concurrently, it allows me to see those wonderful things about myself that make me lovable. Armed with those two, very valuable, bits of information, I can then focus on strengthening my assets, and not reacting in a way that pushes others away from me. I can also respect myself and others enough to set and follow through with healthy boundaries. It’s all possible, provided I don’t speak or act when I’m when upset. Only then, when I’m not messing up my side of the street, can ILML! 

“… as long as I think someone or something else has caused more problems, I remain a victim who has no control over my life.” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

I had a revelation this morning. Every time I’m upset, no matter the reason, I’m instantly a victim. If I’m upset because someone says something mean, or I do something dumb, or something doesn’t pan out as expected, I’m immediately a victim. Who wants to be a victim today? I’m guessing that no one is jumping up and saying “Me! Me! Me!”. Well, neither do I. So here’s the plan: The next time I’m upset I’ll (1) Instantly recognize I am already a victim, (2) Remember that I don’t want to remain a victim for even one more second, (3) Say out loud “No thanks. Not interested in playing the victim anymore.” Then I’ll yell out ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated… I won’t withhold it from others.” – In God’s Care

Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone. And one of the ways we feel loved is when someone says things like “Great job. Thank you. Your awesome. Wow, I really appreciate you. I haven’t told you how wonderful you are, and how lucky I am to have you in my life.” Whether we are an employee, child, spouse, partner, parent, sibling, manager, owner, friend, sponsor or sponsee, it feels great to be appreciated. And appreciation translates into a feeling of being loved. I know that the best way to manifest this for myself is to give it away. Today I’ll make more of an effort to let others know that I appreciate them. The more I appreciate everything and everyone, the more ILML!  

– JamieQ