alanon

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Believe and Connect

“He may call it the human spirit, he may call it the soul or he may call it god. The particular name is not so very important. The point is that he acknowledges this spiritual dimension. He would be a fool to ignore it, so powerful is it’s effect on his life, so joyous, so mysterious, so frightening.”
– A Common Prayer

I love this so much. Quite often I like to get caught up in irrelevant details that hold zero importance in my life. What I choose to CALL a “Power greater than myself” means infinitely less than if I BELIEVE and CONNECT with that Power. Today, I’m connected. Period. No names necessary. It’s very personal and ultimately my definition or understanding means little if anything to anyone else. The results I receive through my belief and application seems to be what is noticed. So my focus is the doing and not the defining. iLmL

– RichieB

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What I Do Have

“Storing up grievances is not only a waste of time, but a waste of life that could be lived to greater satisfaction. If I keep a ledger of “oppressions and indignities,” I’m only restoring them to painful reality.”
– A Day at a Time 3/27

I believe this means that what we focus on grows larger and becomes our reality. So, today I’m going to focus on what I do have, as opposed to what I don’t have, what I like about a person opposed to what I don’t like, how successful I am opposed to what I have not a achieved yet, etc. Positive thinking changes my perception. ILML!

– Jason W

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Loving and Loveable

“Accepting myself means not having to be rich, famous, powerful, or even “good.” It means not having to impress others. It means living authentically. It means being comfortable saying, “I don’t know.”” – Day by Day

At first read, this all seems obvious. But after disecting it a bit further, I realize that I base much, if not all, of my worth on other’s acceptance of me AND my actions. I am “good” because I am good and because I’m alive. I am one of God’s kids and deserve all the best in life for no other reason than that. I am loving and loveable and today I am going to accept myself as I am and those around me as they are. iLmL

– Richie B

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Stay out of Dis-Ease

“… when you nail someone on their “stuff”, they’re going to get angry… wounded, they are going to attack you… all of your stuff is going to come up!” – Until Today

This ping pong of blame, self-pity and victimization can keep us in a perpetual state of hopelessness. It doesn’t matter if it starts with me blaming them, or them blaming me, all of it invokes needless suffering.

If I spot their defects and it’s not directly hurting me, I’m better off pausing & not giving my opinion. If it hurts, I’m best to simply say “that made me feel _____”, and then detach, moving onto activities that connect me with gratitude and love.

If they really love me, they’ll acknowledge my hurt (eventually), and if they don’t, I may need to assess, with my sponsor, whether it’s heathy to continue being around that person.

The program tools provide me with the opportunity to stay out dis-ease. And when I practice them, ILML!

– JamesQ

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Live Abundantly

“For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never proceeded. (p127 BB). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears. My life’s purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess.”
– Daily reflections

If I can stay humble, work a program one day at a time, and look for what I can add to the situation opposed to what I can take from it, then I live abundantly. With this change of perception I am in a place to be more successful. ILML!

– JasonW

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The Secret Sauce

“Today I choose to be gentle with myself and to love unconditionally while detaching from the past”.
– Hope For Today

Resentment, frustration and disappointment blocks my ability to love my life. 100% of mine comes from the past, whether from my childhood or just 5 minutes ago. And 100% of my fear, which is another impingement on happiness, is centered in the future.

So the secret sauce to life loving for me is letting go of past hurts and staying out of future fear. It’s only when I do this that I am able to see the beauty in a flower, feel the magical restorative power of the sun on my face, or smile at the sound of a child’s laugh.

This moment called now is where loving life exists in all its splendor and I, for one, insist on basking in it! ILML!

– JamesQ

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The Pendulum

“When I let go and let God, I’m more apt to find a place of compassion… the pendulum that swings back and forth between the black-and-white of obsession and indifference finds balance in the peaceful colors of serenity”. – Hope For Today

My uncomfortable feelings mostly come from obsession or passive-aggressive victimized pouting due to detaching with resentment.

In the first case, I have a hope that turns to an expectation as my excitement levels increase. I so badly want to get, fix, or stop something, that, without even realizing it, a disproportionate amount of focus shifts from my balanced life of program, service, work, and hobbies to one thing that dominates my thoughts. This obsession eventually leads to discomfort as my spiritual priorities are pushed aside. And serenity slips away.

In the second case, I am upset about something and, in my attempt to work my program I decide to detach. The problem is that I’m not detaching with love so my higher power is not part of the picture. And without my higher power I’m left with my lower power’s guidance. Sure I’ll detach from that sick person or situation, they or it is so mules send up who would want to be attached to that! But this is my life, and in some way I am attached to them or it. Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink. Right?

So what’s the solution? Let go and let God. For me it’s about bringing God into the situation. Obsession or discomfort, in either case the love that envelopes my heart when I reach out to my higher power will balance me, allowing me to step back from the situation and see it with clearer eyes. I can ease my obsession by gently refocusing on my program. I can ease my anger or frustration by gently refocusing on compassion and gratitude.

If I practice awareness of the moment when I start creeping into obsession or anger, and then breath while saying “Let Go and let God”, over and over, I will slowly start to feel better. These behaviors will then, once again, remind me how lucky I am to have the life I do, how lucky I am, and how much ILML!

– JamesQ

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Smiling to Strangers

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” – Mother Theresa

Although I personally am not religious, I’ve become quite open minded to anyone and everyone who speaks on love, gratitude and happiness. From every walk of life I seek their words out and practice them.

A smile. So simple and yet it has the power to spread love and kindness to others without even saying a word. Which opens up the opportunity to then spread those positive feelings to so many more. Today I will practice smiling to strangers and, hopefully, it won’t creep them out 🙂 ILML!

– JamesQ

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Avoid Playing the Victim

“If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we’ll find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. So let us, with my HP’s help, continually surrender these crippling liabilities.… May I transfer my dependency to my HP, as I understand Him.”
– A Day at a Time 3/12

This reminds me that everything that makes me uneasy has partly to do with me. The program has taught me to do daily inventories where I can always find my part in the matter. When I do this, I avoid playing the victim, and harboring resentment. I can take responsibility for myself and learn and grow. This program helps me avoid the burden of being uneasy. ILML!

– JasonW

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Out if the Limelight

“…like an actor who wants to run the whole show… if only people would… The show doesn’t come off… we step on the toes of our fellows… they retaliate… our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.” – AA p.60-61

That’s the story of my life right there – or at least most of the problems I’ve had in it. I’ve found that pretty much everyone, at some point, wants to run the show, and they tend to want to do it at the same moment someone else does.

Although there are times when we do need to be in control (driving a car, guiding young children, taking care of my responsibilities), with respect to the choices that others make, I find that it’s best for me to step out of the limelight and allow them to be in charge of their own destiny, regardless of whether I agree with their decisions or not. Doing this is the easier, softer way, and when I do so, I’m employing just another tool that allows me to remember why ILML!

– James