“… acceptance and gratitude turns what we have into more.” – The Language of Letting Go 

Sometimes it’s hard to have acceptance or gratitude. When we have difficulties with money, health, relationships, or life. When we feel hopeless or confused or angry or scared in a situation. But for those of us who seek to love our lives consistently, the answer is always (1) recognizing that things are as they are, (2) deciding to believe that everything will work out no matter what’s going on now, and (3)  refocusing our attention and energy on all that is good in our lives. By taking these three simple actions anytime I’m feeling uncomfortable, as often as necessary and with serious effort, without fail, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Treating myself with kindness and respect helps me to challenge my own self-criticism.” – Courage to Change 3/29

This is yesterday’s quote, the one read at Wednesday night’s Courage to Change meeting in Lahaina, Maui. I go there weekly when in town to be treat my emotional self with respect and kindness. But yesterday, while journaling, I realized that my physical health actually must come first. Since my tummy hurt I went to the doc, who sent my to the ER, where a surgeon removed my appendix, and I’m out today, back doing the Daily Deal to take care of my emotional and spiritual self. And the circle of loving me continues. I’m forever grateful to this program for showing me that when I put self-care first, ILML! 

“Care for the alcoholic, don’t carry them.” – Heard in the Rooms

As a sponsor, or as anyone who loves someone who is struggling with this disease, there’s always the tendency to go too far for that person, to do too much. Learning how to help them help themself versus doing for them what they can do for themself is not as easy as it may sound. Here’s a few ways I know I’m not making them over-dependent upon me:  When I give them a suggestion, they act on it. They return my calls consistently. They are actively wanting, and stepping up for, their recovery. But if, while I’m showing up for them I realize they aren’t showing up for themselves, it’s time for me to detach until they are really ready. When I’m of service to those who truly want to get better, and are willing to go to any length for health and happiness, ILML!  

– JamieQ

“Life is both priceless and unpredictable… I don’t want to waste a minute of it on self-pity, worry, guilt, resentment, anger, or any character defect that may stand in the way of becoming the kind of person I want to be.” – Hope for Today 

Often, when I say to others, or remind myself, that ‘we insist on being happy’, the answer I hear is something like ‘How can anyone be happy when ___’. And that’s a great question. Tragedies happen all the time, let alone simple expectations that go unmet. Financial, emotional, relationship, traffic, health and other problems confront us on a regular (usually daily) basis. But how great would it be if no matter what (death, sickness, financial ruin, car crash, etc) we could still be grateful, still be happy, still love life? Personally, I think it would be amazing. And that’s why I put so much energy into training my brain to stay in the Attitude of Gratitude no matter what. Does it always work? Of course not. But putting in a couple of hours each day using recovery and spiritual tools to shift my perception has resulted in a shift whereby, about 96.7% of the time ILML!

– JamieQ

“F.E.A.R. can stand for ‘Forgetting Everything’s All Right’.” – Heard from Noel at an AA meeting in Pacific Palisades
I had the opportunity to share at a meeting last night about the idea of faith versus God. I mentioned that for some of us the word “God” is a little bit too much to handle at the beginning of our recovery, so I generally encourage people instead to consider just having faith. When I explain what faith is to me, I say that it’s saying, hearing and believing the words “Everything’s gonna be OK.” On the other hand, when I’m in fear, I’m saying, hearing and believing “No it’s not.” It’s only when I actively choose to listen only to the words of faith, rather than fear, that ILML! 

– JamieQ

“The small child within each of us is profoundly in need of unconditional love.” – In God’s Care  

When I think of myself as a small child, maybe 3 or 4 years old, 8 or 9, 12 or 13, and I think about how much I yearned to be loved, accepted and cared for, I realize that at 55 years old, I still want and deserve the same thing. I have given that kind of love to all 4 of my kids, and still do. I love them beyond words, and would do anything for them to make them happy and feel loved. So why not add a 5th kid into my life, and do anything to make me happy and feel loved. That’s exactly what I’ve done by doing The Daily Deal everyday. I give a gift to myself that makes me feel loved, safe and grateful. The hour or two I devote to reading, journaling, praying, affirmations, meditating, sharing fellowship, stretching, exercise, eating healthily, and sending out a gratitude list & recovery text feed me with the love I’ve always craved for, and honestly, I believe that’s why ILML so much!

– JamieQ

“The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want.” ― Iyanla Vanzant 

Sometimes it’s easy to let go, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes we hold on to things we think will help us, but they only hold us back. Sometimes we hold onto things we love so tightly, we crush them. Sometimes we are so worried about losing something that we fail to see there’s something much better trying to get our attention. And sometimes we’re just plain stubborn and selfish, we won’t let go. But Iyanla is right. In order to get a life beyond our wildest dreams we have to being to let go of the one that isn’t. People, places and things that no longer align themselves with our values or the kind of life we want to live. So just for today be brave. Let go of one thing you’ve been hanging onto that you know isn’t good for you. It could be  a relationship that is overdue to end, or some article of clothing taking up unnecessary space, or maybe even a resentment that you’re finally just too tired to have anymore. When I let go of that which no longer brings me joy, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Fear knocked on the door, no one was home.” – Author Unknown
Fear has many disguises. Anger, jealousy, procrastination, laziness, self-pity, arrogance, depression, dishonesty, self-centeredness and envy are all born of one fear or another. The Big Book and 12 & 12 say that we were the victims of unreasonable fears. That these fears are the termites that ceaselessly devour the foundations of whatever sort of life we try to build. That our fears make a serene and useful existence quite impossible. And that these same fears are the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to true progress. They then suggest that we review our fears thoroughly on paper, face them head on with the help of others who have come before us, and walk right through them to the other side, where our fears fall from us. Provided we study and continue to practice the principles of our program in all our affairs, when fear knocks on my door, I just don’t bother answering. That way… ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Many of the amends I need to make center around letting go of the past. It’s time to give myself and others a second chance… This means I need to alter my attitudes and my actions.” – Hope for Today 

There are so many wonderful experiences I’ve had in the past, ones that, when reflected upon, bring a smile to my face. But anything in my past that brings up a feeling of resentment or self-pity is detrimental to both my physical and emotional well being. The $20,000 question is: How can I stop thinking about painful things in my past? Well here is the answer: Flood you mind, thoughts, words and actions with love and gratitude. Read, listen to, write, share and hang out with others that live in a place of love and gratitude. Start first thing in the morning. Don’t go to bed without infusing yourself with it again. The secret is that when I take actions that keep me focused on love and gratitude, ILML! 

– JamieQ