“When I hold onto resentments and blame, I occupy my spirit with bitterness.” – Courage to Change, page 75

The entire reading from this page (attached) is one of the truly great readings from this book, on a subject that I can never get enough of: forgiveness. It talks about one of the main (and faulty) reasons why I have always forgiven others, while explaining that foreguveness really is just a way to remind me that I’m equal to (no better than, no worse than) everyone else. My job is not to judge others, or to be their victim, but rather to think and act in a way that reflects the best me I can be. Because when I do that, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… we sometimes don’t understand what’s going on in our life… we are right where we need to be, even though that place may feel awkward and uncomfortable… The answer will come….” – The Language of Letting Go

I’ve told this story many times, but I’ll tell it again. At an AlAnon meeting a very old woman spoke of some very hard difficulties in her life. She then said “But those terrible things turned out to be the best things that every happened to me – I just didn’t know it at the time.” She went on to tell how those difficult times signaled a life transition that paved the way for some amazing things to happen in her life. Now that I’m 55, and deeply committed to recovery, I can testify to the same thing. It’s darkest before the light. Though sometimes it may seem tough, bad and painful, have hope. This too shall pass, really it will. When I stay the course and have faith that everything (eventually) will turn out great, even if I can’t possibly see how, I’m able to step away from fear and reconnect with faith, and once again, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Things such as money, acclaim, prestige, power, fame, popularity, recognition, respect, good looks, stylishness, knowledge, and pride can become our idols if we put any of them before love.” – Adapted from In God’s Care

One of the greatest gifts that 12 step fellowship has given me is the opportunity to love others and be loved by them. I spend many hours each day trying to make money, gain the respect and admiration of others, dress nicely, stay fit, do the best I can for my clients, and increase my knowledge. In my opinion, those are all good, healthy and fruitful pursuits. However, readings like this remind me to always put my program, love and connecting with my source of gratitude first, above all else in life. When I do that, abundance in all other areas flow into me and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Any good thing… that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any fellow traveler, let me do it now.” – 12 Step Prayer Book 

This reminds me of something I hear at the end of my Wednesday night 7pm Al-Anon meeting in Maui: “When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen always be there, and let it begin with me.” The idea is that, by looking for opportunities to be of service, to help someone out who could use a hand, I can bring happiness and love into both of our lives. And so, rather than just thinking this is a good idea,  I actively attempt to practice this each day. And I’ve found that the more I look for, and act on those opportunities, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ

“If we are in tune with our Higher Power… we learn to recognize our Guiding Voice.” – Adapted from In God’s Care

I’ve been on a quest for the last 15 years to become a great man. That process requires that I be consistent in reading from books that inspire me to be the best man I can be, journal daily to gain a better understanding of myself, pray to tap into the higher power within me, speak my affirmations aloud in order to manifest abundance, exercise, stretch, sleep deeply and eat healthily to keep my body well, share ESH with those who are also on this journey, and step up to be of service when others need help. It is in doing all these things that I learn to identify which voice is speaking to me inside my head. Because it is only by listening to, and acting upon, the words of my higher, instead of lower power, that ILML!  

– JamieQ

“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” – Arthur Rubinstein

Arthur was a pianist who insisted that he was making more love each time he played the piano. His love of music translated into a love of life. I am filled with love when I too play piano, play guitar, swim or surf in the ocean, hike, laugh, smile, dance, sing, attend a meeting, read a book, eat delicious food, smell a flower, see the sky, feel the rain, hold someone I love. The truth is, I feel love enter me with each breath I take. And I try to share it with everyone I can each day. Because in the end, the most wonderful part of living is to love and be loved in return. I’m blessed to do both many times each day. That’s why ILML!

– JamieQ 

“Came to believe has become a magical phrase for many of us. It is indeed beautiful.” – In God’s Care

I resisted the idea of God or a Higher Power of my understanding for a long, long, long, long time. I was sure there was no “God” or “Higher Power – it’s just a bunch of make believe and brainwashing. But I started seeing that those who believed in and connected to something that made them feel better, were happier, more comfortable and at peace. Still, I resisted. But one day I realized I wanted what they had, so I made up my own concept of God, not as a being an omnipotent force, but rather as the manefestation of love, kindness and gratitude. Now that I have my own concept of a Higher Power, whenever I’m in a funky place I just use my tools to plug into that source of energy, and instantly ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Overtime, some of us become too comfortable living with our familiar, unhealthy behaviors.” –  Reaching for Personal Freedom 

We’ve all heard the expression “It’s progress, not perfection.” But all too often, what some of us hear is “It’s ok to keep practicing my defects of character, as long as I’m making progress at letting some go.” Here’s the problem with that, for me. I feel badly when I ACT badly. Others then react to me.  Then I blame them. And the cycle of upsettedness continues. That kind of existence sucks. As such, I try not to ever use “progress not perfection” as an excuse to justify my bad behavior. Instead, I journal daily to discover if I’ve acted poorly. I then make immediate amends, committing to try not to repeat the behavior. By taking responsibility for my behavior, and striving always to be the best me I can be, ILML! 

“Nothing about my circumstances had changed except the way I felt about them… Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Courage to Change 

After years of consistently doing recovery rituals I’ve learned how truly powerful my perception is. It’s actually the pivital point of my state of mind. Look that way at things, they’re terrible. Look the other way at them, they’re all gifts. When I get too busy to read from uplifting, positive, affirming literature, or to journal out what’s going on in my life, or to write out a gratitude list, to pray, stretch, meditate, exercise, eat healthy, or fellowship with others that are walking this life loving road, then I see things negatively. Earlier today I was in bit of discomfort. Right now I’m doing The Daily Deal and feel my POV shifting to a place where… ILML! 

– JamieQ

“I no longer do things for others that they can do for themselves.”- Adapted from Courage to Change 

When helping someone else deprives them of the opportunity to learn, grow and experience that wonderful feeling of accomplishment, I’m not really helping, I’m hurting. I’ve learned that acting in this way, with my kids and other people, makes them dependent upon me, and ultimately we’ll both end up resenting each other. Instead, in situations where it’s evident that they should learn to take responsibility for themselves, no matter how much I want to come to their rescue, I allow them the dignity to step up for themselves – even if they’re pleading with me to help. When I have the strength to restrain myself from helping others in areas where they can help themselves, I give them the gift of self-esteem and ILML! 

– JamieQ