“Keeping it simple helps me say great phrases like “I need some time to think about that” and… “I’m not sure” or “I don’t know the answer…” – Hope For Today

Being the person that’s always right and always knows the answer is a thankless job. My need to be right comes from my desire not to be wrong. But the truth is, often times, I don’t know the answer. On top of that, if I’m right, they’re wrong, and that makes it not fun for them to be around me. Saying “You may be right!” works so much better for me because it allows me to be truthful, hear others’ opinions, be open minded and have healthier relationships. By recognizing that I may not have the answer, and letting others know it, I’m free of self-centeredness and ILML! 

– JamieQ 

“… the word “anger” is just one letter short of “danger.” I knew my anger was… creating a cavernous gap in my relationships.” – Hope For Today 

99% of my troubles with other people are the result of me reacting, rather than responding. When others behave in ways that are totally unacceptable to me, My impulse is to react and get really, really angry. Although I sometimes still take the bait, thankfully it’s much more rare these days. How did I change? By consistently nurturing my emotional health through working my program each day. I do this by reading from books focused on gratitude, connecting with source, carrying a message of hope to others, and really trying to be a great man everyday. When I avoid the impulse to react and, instead, pause and stay emotionally centered, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“We have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease”. – Heard in meetings

What is my Disease? It’s a feeling of not being at ease, being in dis-ease. I envision it as an entity or a part of me who’s sole purpose of existence is to focus my attention on what’s wrong in my life. The question is, when things are truly wrong, how do I get back into a place of feeling at ease? How do I get out of my dis-ease? The 1st step is honing my awareness. This is actually pretty easy. Whenever I’m upset, I’m in my dis-ease. Next, I immediately pause all words, reactions, texts, and emails and practice the tools on the 1st step worksheet at 12stepwork.com. 99% of the time this works. When it doesn’t, I completely surrender, drop down to my knees or into baby pose and say the serenity prayer over and over until I begin to feel at ease again. Through diligent awareness and action, no matter what feelings come up I can quickly get back to remembering how much ILML!

– JamieQ

“Just for today, move beyond the expectations of others. Dare to be bigger, better, bolder than anyone ever imagined. Surprise yourself!” – Until Today 

I’m a creature of habit. Every morning at Starbucks I order a Venti Chai Latte, Xtra hot, no water, whole milk, no foam, with whip and cinnamon. I like my days to go exactly the way I plan them. But when I’m too set on a specific course of action, there’s no room for spontaneity. In other words, when I’m running the show, there’s no room for my higher power’s ideas. Which also means my eyes aren’t open to unexpected opportunities. Today I’m going to work a little harder, go the extra-extra mile, and try a few new things. My goal is to surprise myself and exceed my self-expectations. By opening myself up to new, fun experiences and opportunities, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“… Make another list of your behaviors entitled: All The Ways I Am Incredible… appreciate  yourself for the miraculous being you are.” – Attitudes of Gratitude in Love 

My Dis-ease is often very busy with put downs and criticism – not only of others but of myself. Being aware of how judgemental I can be, it’s important for me to reverse that negativity by identifying some of my goodness. And while I’m at it, I invite you to do the same and share it with me. Here are ten things I love about… me: (1) I am super loving, (2) I am a very hard worker, (3) I have integrity, (4) I walk my talk, (5) I take great care of my body and health, (6) I love myself tremendously,(7) I’m extremely loyal, (8) I’m a great daddy, (9) I’m a loving husband, (10) I’m a certified life lover through and through. Making that list reinforces that, indeed, ILML! Send me yours! 

– JamieQ

“Obstacles cannot keep me from finding the good in my life and following where it leads. Nothing can get in the way of this – unless I allow it….” – One Day at a Time in Al-Anon p.185

Wow. That quote really says it all. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can get in the way of me loving life with every ounce of my being, unless I allow it. I simply need to recognize the moment I feel some thing, thought or person trying to pull me away from loving life and make the decision: Nope. Sorry. Not taking the bait. Loving life is more important. Then I simply detach from that thing, thought or person that is either intentionally or unintentionally trying to take me down. If it’s a person, likely they will be unhappy that I’m not joining their drama, but that’s ok – that too shall pass. What’s important is that I detach from negativity and INSIST ON LOVING LIFE!!!! ILML!

– JamieQ

Note: Special thanks to Adam T who sent me the quote today!

“I will probably make a mistake of some sort every day of my life. If I view this as a personal failing or pretend that no mistakes have occurred, I make my life unmanageable. When I stop struggling to be perfect and admit when I am wrong, I can let go of guilt and shame.” – Courage to Change 

Fear of being wrong is the root of my righteousness, a very unattractive trait. These days, when it comes to making mistakes, I’d rather know so I can grow. But I love myself enough to discontinue relationships with those that are aggressive or abusive towards me when I’m less than perfect. Likewise I’m gentle with myself and others when mistakes are made. The truth is, we’re all perfectly imperfect. Accepting or giving out shame and guilt are no longer options for me in recovery. The more I surrender the need to be right, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ 

“Would you rather be right or happy?” – Anonymous

Why can’t I be right and happy? If I understand and know something to be true, isn’t that okay? Yes! Doing the next right thing makes me happy. Guessing how to fix something or solve a problem to discover I’m right is awesome. Where I get into trouble is when being right makes someone else wrong. When I’m right, they’re wrong and they feel like a loser – and making them feel like that is mean. I must stop trying to help, educate or defend myself by being right. I’m much happier when I just allow them to be right. If they’re not, they’ll figure it out without my help. By resigning from the debating society, ILML! 
– JamieQ