“To continue giving without receiving doesn’t prove anything except that you know how to be taken advantage of.” – Until Today

Who likes a one-sided relationship? Not me. Yet I’ve had many of them in the past. These days I practice having healthy boundaries to the best of my ability by (1) determining what is unacceptable behavior from others, (2) creating a plan of detachment if others repeatedly behave in an unacceptable manner, (3) letting others know what is unacceptable and how I will handle it if it becomes a pattern, and (4) follow through by acting on my plan of detachment if necessary. When I choose to honor and respect myself by setting healthy boundaries and following through on my plan of detachment when necessary, others begin to respect me, my relationships improve and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“What benefits do I gain by completing a Step Four inventory?” – Reaching for Personal Freedom 

This was the question of the day for me when I opened my workbook at 7am. Here’s my answer: Doing a thorough 4th step cleared away the wreckage of the past and freed me from the bondage of myself so that I was able to finally let go of the hurt that I caused others and myself in the past. In doing so I made room in my heart, soul and mind to become a great man by letting go of that part of me which was significantly less than the great man I seek to continue becoming. Grateful for these simple yet powerful steps. ILML! 

“You must enter every experience in life with with a sense of feel-full-ness!” – Michael Beckwith

I love this quote. I like to feel-full-ness everyday, and through the program I’m learning how to feel-fill myself in healthier ways. It used to be booze, drugs, rich food, money, etc. But I’ve learned that I sought out and handled those things in an addictive manner to feel-full, ultimately hurting me and those around me. And they never truly feel-fulled me. Today I seek a balance in those things that are good for me. I eat healthy food. I stretch and exercise regularly. I read books and listen to those that inspire me to be a better man. I take actions to seek out, and connect to, the source of love each day. When I strive for balance, ILML!  

“Our answer is in still more spiritual development. Only by this means can we improve our chances for really happy and useful living.” – 12&12 p.114

This morning I was given a wonderful opportunity to be disappointed. Someone who had made a promise to me only last night, recanted. This caused me fear, which turned to anger, and before I knew it l, words flew out of my mouth that were very uncharacteristic of the spiritually evolved James. It’s only because I work this program so diligently, that less than one minute later I was able to make amends for my words. It doesn’t necessarily excuse me, but it makes me feel better that I’m owning my responsibility. And the real gift is that I was, once again, reminded that there’s always room for spiritual improvement. When I plug in to source, fear evaporates, I insist on being happy and ILML! 

– JamieQ

“There is a powerful presence that’s around here at all times… opens doors of opportunity… nourishes your spirit…” – Until Today

It is often difficult to express love to those we are close to. Sometimes this is a lover whom we are angry with, a child who has behaved badly, or a parent who has never really shown us love the way we had expected and desired. Those who regularly read my words know that I consider God to be the expression of love. Ergo, I believe it’s my awareness of, faith in, and expression of love that opens the door to peace, happiness and abundance in my life. So when something in me says “Don’t express love to this person that I love”, I take the contrary action. If I really love them, I momentarily set aside their behavior, wrap my arms around them, and say “I love you”. Because, when I go back to love, ILML! – P.S. Today’s my dad’s birthday… I love you dad!

– JamieQ

“Acknowledging our gratitude for the blessings in our life releases the happiness … and can serve as a catalyst for happiness in the lives of others.” – In God’s Care

In a few minutes I’m going to write my gratitude list and send it out to my gratitude list groups, 41 friends who asked to receive it, many of whom send me theirs each day. They inspire me, and I inspire them. I also start and end my day with a verbal list of my gratitude – thanking life for all the gifts I receive each day. The more I say and send these lists out, the easier it is to think of things I’m thankful for. And expressing my gratitude actually manifests more things to be grateful for. 

LifeLover Tip: The more I’m grateful, the more ILML! 

– JamieQ

“Keeping it simple helps me say great phrases like “I need some time to think about that” and… “I’m not sure” or “I don’t know the answer…” – Hope For Today

Being the person that’s always right and always knows the answer is a thankless job. My need to be right comes from my desire not to be wrong. But the truth is, often times, I don’t know the answer. On top of that, if I’m right, they’re wrong, and that makes it not fun for them to be around me. Saying “You may be right!” works so much better for me because it allows me to be truthful, hear others’ opinions, be open minded and have healthier relationships. By recognizing that I may not have the answer, and letting others know it, I’m free of self-centeredness and ILML! 

– JamieQ 

“… the word “anger” is just one letter short of “danger.” I knew my anger was… creating a cavernous gap in my relationships.” – Hope For Today 

99% of my troubles with other people are the result of me reacting, rather than responding. When others behave in ways that are totally unacceptable to me, My impulse is to react and get really, really angry. Although I sometimes still take the bait, thankfully it’s much more rare these days. How did I change? By consistently nurturing my emotional health through working my program each day. I do this by reading from books focused on gratitude, connecting with source, carrying a message of hope to others, and really trying to be a great man everyday. When I avoid the impulse to react and, instead, pause and stay emotionally centered, ILML! 

– JamieQ

“We have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease”. – Heard in meetings

What is my Disease? It’s a feeling of not being at ease, being in dis-ease. I envision it as an entity or a part of me who’s sole purpose of existence is to focus my attention on what’s wrong in my life. The question is, when things are truly wrong, how do I get back into a place of feeling at ease? How do I get out of my dis-ease? The 1st step is honing my awareness. This is actually pretty easy. Whenever I’m upset, I’m in my dis-ease. Next, I immediately pause all words, reactions, texts, and emails and practice the tools on the 1st step worksheet at 12stepwork.com. 99% of the time this works. When it doesn’t, I completely surrender, drop down to my knees or into baby pose and say the serenity prayer over and over until I begin to feel at ease again. Through diligent awareness and action, no matter what feelings come up I can quickly get back to remembering how much ILML!

– JamieQ