A Small Price to Pay

A Small Price to Pay

By working this step, we keep the cobwebs out of (our life).” – Reaching for Personal Freedom

This morning, working on the 10th step in my work book, I came across that sentence. Cobwebs are fine when they’re catching pleasant memories. But when they catch ahold of fears, problems, self-pity, anger, frustration and hopelessness, those cobwebs have to be swept away or they will destroy me.

The only way I’ve discovered how to eliminate such cobwebs from my life is to approach them like a final exam in college that I really need to get an A in.

Having had a difficult time keeping my attention focused throughout my life, I had to work super hard in college to get good grades. While others, like my younger brother, could get A’s by just glancing at text books and attended some classes, I had to approach college differently.

I would read the text book. Then read it a second time with a highlighter in my hand, highlighting what I thought might be on a test. Then I’d write out, in a notebook, everything that I highlighted. Then I’d read it into a tape recorder. Then I’d listen to what I read over and over. Plus, I made sure to attended every class and took copious notes. I even sold my notes to others, they were so good. Ever the entrepreneur. I ended up scoring very high in college, but it was really, really hard work and very, very long hours.

I approach my program the same way. The prize isn’t A’s —it’s something even better: when I make working my program, growing spiritually, and carrying the message to others the priority in my life, and I commit at least a couple hours each day doing it, I get to be rocketed into the forth dimension and have a life beyond my wildest dreams. I also get to have great relationships with others and love the man I’m becoming. It’s so cool.

So each day, when I awaken, I resolve for that day to allocate the first couple of hours to working my program, which I call the Daily Deal. I think it’s a small price to pay in order to get an attitude of gratitude and be happy, joyous and free.

Because… I’ve learned that when I make recovery my priority… ILML!

— Jamie Q

Life Gets Lifey

Life Gets Lifey

Lack of power, that was our dilemma.” AA, pg. 45

I’m part of a group of individuals that sends out gratitude lists back-and-forth, between each other, on almost a daily basis. This morning I received a gratitude list from someone who works a rigorous 12 step spiritual program of action. In it, she said, “I don’t try and control things as much as I used to.”

It made me think that, although the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous were correct in the fact that lack of power was our dilemma, particularly with regard to alcohol, I’ve found that in long-term recovery, it’s lack of control that seems to be at the root of many of my troubles.

Whether I’m willing to admit it or not, I tend to want people to do the things that I want them to do, act the way that I want them to act, and speak to me the way I would like to be spoken to.

I also tend to want situations to go the way that I want them to go, how I think they should happen, Because I believe that would be the best outcome not only for me, but for everyone else to.

And I’m very clear as to what I would like to happen with regard to the health of my body. I’d like to always be strong, healthy, slim and attractive.

Well, at 57 years old I’ve finally begun to realize that life doesn’t always turn out exactly the way I’d like it to go. As I often say, without my ability to manage, direct and control everything, life tends to get lifey.

More often than not, people have an inclination to do what they would like to do, rather than what I would like them to do.

Things that I’ve planned often turn out differently than I hoped.

And my body, well, it has this weird way of getting older and, well, heavier. LOL. I also noticed that the older I get, the more I experience strange aches and pains, some of which have actually required medical intervention.

So you see, my ability to control people, places and things is really just an illusion of control. As they say in ALAnon, I’m really only in charge of what’s happening inside my hula hoop. And even then, at least when it comes to my human body, I’m really not in complete control of that either.

What I have learned to control is the amount of energy I put into becoming the best version of me I can possibly become. That includes doing things that positively feed my mind l, body and spirit. In these situations, the only one I’m battling for control with, is my DisEase. He would certainly prefer that I spend zero time taking care of myself spiritually, emotionally and physically because the more pain I am in, the more likely I will hurt others and hurt myself.

So again, just for today, like most of the days over the last 17 years of my life, I’ll make my recovery a priority. Because when I put first things first… ILML!

Investing in the Great Life

“Faith is a spiritual skill to be cultivated.” – Hope for Today

The reason that this particular excerpt resonates so well for me is that it pinpoints this reality:

If I want to attain & maintain something valuable to me in this life, I need to step up and do the work to get & keep it.

That means that I need to invest the time and energy to take specific concrete actions in order to help me move closer to my goal.

It’s sort of like working an actual job. If I want to earn money, I need to put in the work. Right?

Faith is exactly the same. If I suddenly fully believe in something (like God, the program, living in the moment, etc) I will attain both enlightenment and receive all the gifts that come with it. Nope. That’s not how it works.

In order to feel great, think positively, have an attitude of gratitude, get and stay spiritually connected, have fantastic relationships, experience the most amazing life I possible can, I have to invest the time, energy & work to get it.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Want a great body! Great! But you’ll need to work for it. Start by switching to a super healthy diet, you’ll likely feel like your starving for a while. Now do rigorous strength exercises six days a week making sure you get at least 45 minutes of heavy cardio in. You’ll likely be very sore for awhile. But, if you do the work consistently no matter how you feel, it’s guaranteed: you will have a great body.

When it comes to earning money and physical health, there’s no magic pill or shortcut to attain success.

The same is true for all the rest. I have to invest in a great life if I want one. When I spend the 2 hours each day practicing my spiritual, emotional, and physical work, followed by 8-10 hours of financial work, making sure I leave time each day to be of service to others and engage in fun hobbies and recreation, I get to be rocketed into the forth dimension, my faith in this process continues to grow and… ILML!

— JamieQ

Loving Life is a Miracle

Loving Life is a Miracle

It’s impossible to feel like life is full of miracles while addicted to drugs and alcohol. But getting, and staying, sober wasn’t all I wanted—I wanted to love my life so much that I’d feel like shouting it out every day!

Today I do, and it’s amazing. Here are the three steps it took (and continue to take) to become someone who spends most of my time loving life, being happy, joyous and free.

The first step was for me to decide that, since I was now sober, becoming a life lover was my next top priority. More important than making money. More important than accomplishing other tasks. More important than putting others’ needs above mine. I became willing to take any and all positive actions I could to love my life. Not just like it, love it!

Once that commitment was out of the way, the second step was to have a consistent morning routine which included meditation, connecting with source, mirror talk, singing, dancing, showering and straightening up, exercising, reading and listening to things that are uplifting, writing out what your grateful for, and taking a written inventory of my last 24 hours and writing down how I felt at that moment. Sounds like a lot? It is. Nothing great happens without commitment and work. I spend a lot of time and do a lot of work each day to love my life, and it’s 100% worth the investment.

The third, and perhaps most important, way to assure that I would love my life, and continue to do so, was to share my passion for loving life with others and help them discover how to be a life lover. I do this in meetings (AA, AlAnon, NarAnon and Life Lovers) and with everyone I meet. There’s a sign on the front door to my office “If this door is locked we’re out loving life!”, and notes all over my home about gratitude and loving life. As we’ve heard many times, “We have to give it away to keep it”.

Today I choose to believe that EVERYTHING is a miracle, because when I live in that frame of mind… ILML!

Only Powerless Alone

Only Powerless Alone

“We admitted we were powerless…” Step One, AA

We are not really powerless. We have the power to drink alcohol. We have the power to use drugs. We have the power to live selfishly. We have the power to focus on how bad life is. We have the power to blame, hurt others, hurt ourselves, be angry, live in self-pity and hate our life. We have lots of power.

What most of us have come to realize is that, alone, by ourselves, without the help from others who have overcome those things in life that have held them down, we cannot change the trajectory of our life. We cannot stop drinking and drugging. We cannot stop blaming and feeling hurt. We cannot love our lives.

So when we say we are powerless, what we really mean is help me. I’m powerless to become what I want to be without help. I’m powerless to change all the behaviors that hurt me and others without help. I’m powerless to create a life I love, to really love myself, without help. Please, help me.

The beauty of the program is that we get to meet others who have overcome their powerlessness through the help of others, and transformed a life of misery into a life they love. And by learning from them how to do this ourselves, we then get the opportunity to have that life beyond our wildest dreams, and help others to have one too. It’s an endless circle of love. Loving others, loving ourselves, loving life.

And when I get, and stay, right in the middle of that circle, while reaching out my hands to as many others as I can to bring them in… ILML!

— JamieQ

Program Based Direction

Program Based Direction

“Faith without works is dead.” AA, p.76

Surrendering, turning it over, trusting our higher power, having faith, letting go. These actions are fundamental in my desire to love life. Seeking the spiritual solution always leads me to greater abundance.

But there’s a balance between giving it to God and getting up off my ass and taking some action.

Too often, especially prior to thoroughly working a program, when things got difficult and I felt overwhelmed I’d give it to God and let it go, when in fact, some action (aka works) was required. God isn’t EVER going to do for me what I can do for myself.

So the question is, how do I know if there’s something I should be “doing,” and if there is, how do I know what “it” is?

By first asking my Higher Power, “Hey God, is there something I should be doing? And, if so, what is it?”

If I don’t intuitively know what to do, and am unsure if I should be doing nothing, I call my sponsor.

A good sponsor will provide clarity in moments if confusion. Mine helps me to distinguish when I’m giving it to God versus evading responsibilities or being lazy. By following my sponsor’s program based direction when I’m not sure what, if anything, I should be doing… ILML!

— JamieQ

New Year’s Resolution

New Year’s Resolution

”The person who has gratitude to express has in some sense been lifted from a place of lack or need to a place of well-being and abundance.” — Attitudes of Gratitude in Love

Why is negativity such a guiding force in most peoples lives? Why do we get sucked into blaming, complaining, self-pity, debating, and obsessing on things that don’t really make us happy? It’s not a question that I have a good answer for, but I do know that, in the last year alone, I’ve spent over 10,000 minutes there. That boils down to about a half hour every day.

Reflecting on that fact, I feel the majority of that time was wasted. Yes, there were certain lessons that I needed to learn, but in retrospect, I would’ve rather spent each one of those minutes focused on things that make me happy, fill me with the feeling of abundance, and create harmony in my life.

But life is all about evolving. Today is the first day of a new year, so for my resolution, I resolve to spend even less time being in a negative frame of mind, and more time focused on gratitude. This is the best way I know how to love my life.

— JamieQ